Running, Drinking, and Surviving

So, it’s a very quick read, very entertaining, and has a lot of good insight. It also features a writer who decides to get a Hermione level glow up for perfect pictures at great expense. So it’s a mixed bag. Actually, the glow up goes well beyond Hermione’s teeth shrinking—more like teen rom com featuring the slightly unfortunate girl who has no style and bad hair, but magically tu rns into a fairy princess with a haircut and new dress. I’ll say more on this later. The author, Amy Webb, makes a lot of good points about dating websites, algorithms, and human nature. I definitely cringed when I thought of my own dating profile faux pas that never occurred to me (until now of course). However, it’s also based on online dating in 2005. Yes. 14 years ago. Of course, they don’t mention that until the appendix. She then makes sure to clarify that the websites have all made updates to their algorithms so we couldn’t rely on her data too much right now. Um…what?? So you just gave us a great

I'm restless. I'd say I'm having trouble sleeping, but it's more like I don't want to sleep. I have something on my mind and it won't go away. It makes it hard to get up in the morning, and yet I'm not tired during the day or ready to go to bed at night. If history is any indication of what is happening, I'm at a crossroads. A major life change is coming. As usual, I'm not happy. Is it the job? The location? The lack of viable romantic options? All of the above? Or is it just that I'll never be happy no matter what I have? I know many think that I can never be happy. Or that I just make all the wrong choices to make that happen. But I honestly think I just haven't found the right spot for me yet. Most people are born into the place they belong. Not me. I don't fit anywhere I have been. *WRITTEN 5/29/19 - Moved on 8/10/19...guess I know thyself

The last couple of nights of dreaming have been...interesting. The days too. It started Friday night. I dreamt of Michael. It was an interesting dream. He wanted me back in his life and he was moving to Kansas. And I felt happy and loved. But I said no...I wasn't coming with him. And I felt good about that decision. I woke up that morning suddenly wanting to get married again for the first time in 8 years. I then spent the day fantasizing about a wedding, watching Say Yes to the Dress, and essentially planning my next wedding. Yes, I am aware that I am 1) not engaged, and 2) not even dating someone. Yet it gave me an odd sense of hope to feel hopeful about a future wedding. I'm sure this all seems rather nutty, but I think this was my subconscious finally moving past the past. I know it has been eight years so most people will think, "you're still not over this?" But to those people I say this--that divorce was more than losing a husband. I lost my husband, my b

On January 1, 2019, I began a shopping ban, courtesy of a Caitlyn Flanders and her book "A Year of Less." I also took a lot of time combing through my worldly belongings and clothing to weed out what I don't need. Move aside Marie Kondo, Caitlyn Flanders is so much better at this. It's not so much about decluttering as it is about taking stock of what we really need and use and trying not to be so consumer driven. So, the way this Shopping Ban works. Create a list of essentials--things you're allowed to purchase as they are necessities (food, pet care items, medications, etc.) Create a list of non-essentials--not allowed to buy unless something breaks and is an absolute necessity (electronics, clothing, furniture, games, etc.) Create an Approved Shopping List--things that aren't necessities, but items you plan to buy in the next year and are within the budget (Paint & home improvement items, wine (don't judge), vegetable plants, Arcade Expo tick

Sometimes I wonder...if I had everything I think I want, would I then be content? I don't think I would. I think I'm one of those people always looking for something else. The next big thing. The next adventure. And I'm finally hitting the point where I'm wondering--is this all there is? I thought some day I'd feel fulfilled, content, like I fit perfectly somewhere. But that day has never arrived. Even after I got married in 2009...I came home from the honeymoon on a Tuesday, had the rest of the week off to clean and rest up. But I just sat there...in the dark...motionless and depressed. Like--this is it? This isn't any different than being unmarried. I'm still missing something. Some would say I need a child to be fulfilled, but I've never wanted children.*  It's just not the right thing for me. Then there's my career--I make a modest salary in public service. I'm sure some people think more money would make me happy. But alas, I tried p

If you've ever wondered what a 3 day first date to Disney World is like, then THIS is the blog post for you. For the sake of not getting sued, we'll call him "Tacky Tim"... Friday 5:51pm - Plane lands at Orlando International Airport, Text to Tacky Tim, who expects my plane to arrive at 6pm 6:05pm - Text from Tacky Tim that he won't be there until at least 6:30pm (well after my flight is due to arrive) *Note: I offered to grab an uber to meet him so he didn't have to fetch me and to expedite matters 6:45pm - Tacky Tim finally arrives to pick me up, we get in his car and have an awkward ride to Disney World; he's wearing a Hawaiian shirt, hiking shoes, and tri-colored dark socks pulled half way up his calf...and a fanny pack 7:15ish - Tacky Tim scams his way into parking at the Polynesian by lying to the security guard, we get in line for a Dole Whip where he promptly leaves me b/c he's old and apparently needs to piss every five seconds; he c